Under the Dome 3×04 “The Kinship”: I knew weird alien sex would be involved

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Actually, it seems like everyone was trying to get down and dirty, or crying about not having food, or crying about not being pregnant, or accidentally burning down a tent, or trying to kill themselves, or almost punching their girlfriend so hard it would have broken her face. Just the normal stuff that happens in Chester’s Mill.

You know things are bad when Big Jim is the most responsible citizen. Like really bad.

Actually, I didn’t think there could be anyone worse than Big Jim when it comes to leadership, but Christine has gone above and beyond to break the record of most effed up leader in Chester’s Mill. For example, look what happened to the murderous alcoholic that she was trying to clean up! He’s drinking and living in sin!

Source: CBS

Source: CBS

It’s sinful that it took this long to get his shirt off.

Or look what happened to James I’m-not-like-my-father-but-I-like-being-everyone’s-butt-monkey Rennie who is probably going to beat that other dude to death, while also living in sin!

Source: CBS

Source: CBS

It’s sinful that it took this long to get his shirt off and have someone smear something on those gorgeous lips.

Oh and for good measure:

Source: CBS

Source: CBS

SIN!

But what was the biggest sin of all?

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C’mon Barbie! Really? My OTP’s going to be played like that? Thank God Julia got her head back on her shoulders and booked it as quickly as she could out of the hive. Weirdly enough I’m pretty sure her and Jim are going to team up and take down the government and the aliens, and I couldn’t be more excited to see that.

She also effed up with Joe and Norrie, but they are just too adorable to be sinful. And remember ladies, he’s got lots of condoms.

I really can’t wait to get more answers because this show has gotten a thousand times odder pretty much immediately, and there are also some gaping plot holes I would like to be filled. For example, if Christine and Eva were there before the Dome (which I’m a little confused about) how did nobody see them before? Yeah, Christine got transformed or destroyed by the egg or whatever, but where has Eva been for the last three weeks? And if Christine is the Monarch thingy, why did the egg like Julia since the beginning? She was literally the egg queen before Melanie (RIP girl) and Christine came along. Does it keep switching? What exactly is the egg? Why am I so confused and conflicted over a summer TV show that is nothing like the Stephen King book?

These answers and (hopefully) more on next week’s Under the Dome.

Oh, and even though it was confusing and weird as hell, it was a good episode. Keep it up!

Marnie Azzarelli

Marnie Azzarelli

is your average everyday horror writer and TV watcher, who finds herself connecting on a deep level with mythical monsters, and serial killers. She lives in a fantasy world that Joss Whedon created where she goes through a minimum of four character arcs per season, and Spike and Leo Fitz fight for her hand in marriage. When not glued to her TV or laptop, she talks to her cats about life, and writes characters that (she hopes) are crazier than herself. Check out her writing blog in the hopes that she’ll post more than once a week.

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