The Bachelor 1×02 ‘Week 2′: The virgin, the crazy, and the drunk

Source: ABC

So many good characters on this season, you guys.  So freakin’ many.  And a lot of kissing going on!  Hopefully no one has mono…

The show starts with Mackenzie, Tandra, Jade, Ashley I, Tara, and Kimberly meeting up with Chris for a pool party.  That’s all fine and dandy, but then they go traipsing around Downtown LA in their bikinis while Chris is fully clothed.  Um, sexist much?  Then there’s an anti-climactic tractor race, and Ashley I (who we find out later is supposedly a virgin) wins.  At this point, Mackenzie and Tara were my faves.  Jade and Tandra are so boring that I barely remember what they look like, and Kimberly’s the one who’d begged to stay at the end of episode 1, which is a little desperate for my taste.

At the end of the group date, Chris chooses Mackenzie to spend the rest of the night with.  I was excited about that until she started telling him that he had a big nose and asking him if he believes in aliens.  I’m all for quirkiness, but those are generally weird things to talk about… and the nose thing is a little insulting.  She was nervous about telling him that she has a kid, but I think after those other things she said, Chris didn’t mind at all.  Plus, he pointed out that he’s 33 and kids don’t scare him.  Good man.  The date ends with exactly 6 kisses (Mackenzie counted).

During all this, Jillian and Megan explore the mansion that Chris is staying at, which host Chris conveniently left unlocked.  They drunkenly try on his motorcycle helmet and snoop around.  Jillian’s swimsuit bottoms are blocked out, which might be due to her hairy butt that Jordan claims she has.

Source: ABC

Source: ABC

Speaking of which, Jordan switched places with Tara this week and was completely wasted the entire episode.

Anyway, Chris takes Megan for the first one-on-one date, and I have to admit it was awesome.  A helicopter ride above the Grand Canyon?  Yes please.  He kisses her as well.  So, at this point in the season, he’s already kissed 3 women.  That seems a little much to me, but by the end of the episode he adds Ashley I and Amber to the list.  Maybe someone else, too.  It’s hard to keep track.

Chris is such a nice guy though that it’s hard to hate him for it.  There are more girls on this show than there are in all of Iowa.

The second group date included laser tag or paintball or something with zombies.  Kelsey, Trina, Alissa, Tracy, Jillian, Becca, Amber, Ashley S, Juelia, Kaitlyn, and Britt were invited to this one.  I really like Amber, Juelia, Kaitlyn and Britt.  Ashley S is either on drugs, seeking attention, or generally insane.  I’m honestly concerned for her.  And Chris.  And the producers.

I know there are tons of names in this post already, but I can’t end without including who stayed/left because last week I didn’t pay enough attention.  I’m a little perturbed that Bo, the one plus-size girl, was gone after one line on the show.  And the line was, literally, “I’m a plus-size model, so…”

Ugh.  But back to episode 2.  Huggy Britt, virgin Ashley I, down-to-earth Amber, boring Jade, funny Kaitlyn, Barbie Megan, mommy Mackenzie, hairy Jillian and schizophrenic Ashley S all stayed.  Tracy, Nikki, Becca, and Whitney were also given roses at the ceremony but I don’t remember anything about them.  Nikki and Whitney hadn’t even had a date yet.

Jordan, Kimberly, Tara, Alissa and Tandra were all booted.  I would’ve liked to see more of Jordan and Tara’s shenanigans, but I’m okay with the rest leaving.

Whew!  That was a lot.  Did anyone else see the episode?  Which girls are you rooting for?

Stephanie Shar

Stephanie Shar

is a freelance writer, creative life coach, and newbie mother making her dreams come true in Los Angeles.

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