Orange is the New Black 3×07-3×09: ‘Tounge-Tied’, ‘Fear, and Other Smells’, ‘Where my Dreidel At’.

piper-steps-up-orange-is-the-new-black

Is it just me guys or was season two way more interesting and better written than this season? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m still interested to see what happens next and slightly entertained, but I feel like this might also be a lot of build up for nothing. Anywho, let’s cover the next three episodes: seven through nine.

In episode seven, Norma is becoming quite popular among the inmates and instead of magic, her powers seem to extend to actual healing. She now has an entire congregation of people who follow her around and are promoting her ideals of kindness and acceptance. We also get a glimpse into her past where, circa 1970 something, she joins a cult with a guru and everything and even becomes one of his many wives. Apparently she decided to stick with him for many years long after he became a washed-up nobody and endures his abuse. Well, until he gets pushed off of a cliff by here into a ravine. Pretty sure that’s what lands her in prison.

Anyway, a bunch of new officers get hired on at Litchfield and it’s up to Caputo and the other C.O.’s to get them up to speed. However, Danny has other plans and wants Caputo to cut their training down to nothing and get them out in the field ASAP. Caputo tries to argue, but sends the young recruits out anyway to disastrous results. This leads to even more conflict between Danny and Caputo as Danny exerts his dominance over Caputo at every turn.

Suzanne writes a sci-fi erotic tome that becomes quite popular with the inmates and even has a small fan club started. As you might

Source: IMDB

Source: IMDB

expect, the book is pretty dang weird and even though it’s gaining popularity there’s other inmates who are quite annoyed by hearing about it day in and day out. Perhaps the biggest fan of all, Poussey tries to get her hands on the newest chapters as soon as they become available.

After remembering that time some random dude asked for her dirty panties in Chicago, Piper is struck with a genius idea. She’ll take the leftover fabric she’s using for making Whisper panties with and make extra panties for the inmates to wear and then sell the used panties over the internet. She enlists her brother to make the website, Alex to recruit one of the young new guards to help, and a handful of inmates to wear her, uh, intimates.

Mendoza is still reeling from the crazy new rules set down by the MCC regarding the kitchen and now Sofia is back at her, claiming that her son is a very bad influence. Finally in a fit of rage, she quits as head of the kitchen and forces Caputo to quickly promote someone. Of course, Red steps up to the opportunity gleefully and takes over the kitchen again. Little does she know though, the entire structure of the kitchen is about to change forever.

In episode eight, Caputo introduces the new bagged food that the kitchen will be serving on the regular. It’s quite nasty stuff, all brown and mushy, and several of the inmates throw up and throw away the food after eating it for the first time. Red is heartbroken that her takeover of the kitchen has led her to serving this slop. Caputo reminds her he wouldn’t have put her in charge if she was to be given any real power because of all the terrible things she did before.

Meanwhile, the new inmate Lolly is proving to be quite the challenge for Alex. Alex constantly finds her staring at her and whenever she tries to confront her, Lolly quickly changes the subject and/or runs away in a hurry. Alex is seemingly convinced that Lolly has been hired to kill her by her old crime boss, who she flashes back to this episode. We see Alex attend the funeral of her mother, Diane and she is quite upset that the turnout was not that high. So in turn she gets high with her buddy, jet sets off to Paris to make a pick-up, subsequently misses the drop which gets the mule arrested, and then watches her partner in crime get murdered before her very eyes. I’m pretty sure we’re shown this scene to establish that her old boss is a crazy mofo who hires others to kills for him and now that he knows Alex’s exact whereabouts, it wouldn’t be hard to put out a hit on her head.

Under pressure from her mother, Daya decides to give up the baby for adoption to Mrs. Powell. But in the process of discovering more about Mrs. Powell, she finds out her mother has already received money from her and decides it’s time to stop lying. So she tells Mrs. Powell the truth and Mrs. Powell looks shocked, but doesn’t say whether or not she’ll be trying to get her son out of prison. Something tells me this will be coming back to bite Daya in the ass later.

Red goes to Healy and tells him she’s quitting the kitchen after only being back as the head boss for a day. It’s killing her spirit to serve such disgusting gruel and Healy doesn’t really have any sympathy for her at all. He basically just tells her that his hands are tied (or cut off in this case) and shoves her out the door, ya know, because he’s a POS. Meanwhile, SoSo comes to see him and tells him she’s very depressed and wants to seek counselling. He pretty much immediately refers her to medical to receive anti-depressants, which let me tell you from experience, is about the worst thing you can do for someone who is just now seeking help. Later, Berdie comes to Healy and asks him to hand over Soso as a patient, just for now since it seems like Soso would do better under her care. Of course though, Healy’s gonna Healy, so he gets very offended and tells her that the only reason Soso came to her is because she’s a woman and minority. Ugh, he’s just the worst you guys. THE WORST.

Piper attempts to squash the beef between Lolly and Alex by inviting her over, only to cause an even bigger rift when Lolly starts to act

Source: IMDB

Source: IMDB

even crazier and dashes away yet again. In the final scene, we see Lolly actually is keeping tabs on Alex in a notebook of her whereabouts, but it’s unknown whether or not this is just Lolly being crazy or if she’s working with someone from the outside.

In episode nine, Piper’s panty business is selling like hot cakes and her brother suggests they expand quickly and charge more. He also mentions one bad review in which the customer was unhappy with the packaging of the product and Piper asks her brother to repackage the panties once he picks them up. I’ll say this about Piper: she’s quite industrious when it comes to starting up businesses. She also enlists the help of her fellow Whisper employee, Stella, who’s crazy good looking and who’s she’s starting to flirt with an awful lot. I guess she’s starting to get tired of crazy old Alex, which thank goodness, because they’re relationship has never been and will never be healthy.

The cult of Norma is starting to meet in the chapel on the regular and is struggling to define its goals and mission, which gets it looked down upon by pretty much everyone else in the prison. Leeane is upset that no one is taking them seriously and even goes so far as to kick Soso out of the group. When Norma finds out she implores Leeane to go and apologize, which of course doesn’t go well at all. We also flash back to Leeane’s story and see that she was raised Amish and got mixed up in the drug trade while on Rumspringa. After turning in her friends after being caught, the others shun her and she decides to leave the Amish life behind for good and go back to the drug trade. I honestly felt sorry for Leeane here because it seemed like she had a great life and didn’t want to leave behind her faith, but struggled with the outside world.

Danny has a great idea to curb the problem with the expensive kosher meals being ordered in bulk and brings in a rabbi to sort through the “fake Jews.” This of course angers Caputo because he’s a sensitive soul or whatever but the rabbi gets done to business and souses out quite a few people and shortens the list. Looks like gruel is up on the menu for quite a few more peeps now. Meanwhile, Red goes through great pains to make sure everyone understands it’s not her cooking and that she wants nothing to do with it. Poor Red, she thought she was going to get back into the kitchen and work everything out huh?

Apparently Doggett and C.O. Coates are turning into quite the budding romance. Between feeding ducks at a local pond with leftover doughnuts, to their secret chats, and also their sort of weird BDSM thing going on? I feel like Doggett is going to use their little relationship to her advantage for sure. Also, Alex and Lolly butt heads again out by the greenhouse after an accident and Alex sees Lolly steal a huge chunk of glass. Uh-oh…

So later in her bunk, Stella gets a visit from Piper and they discuss how business is booming which then turns into a little makeout session. Well…I guess that’s going to be it for Alex and Piper, well, if Alex doesn’t get murdered first.

Sarah S. is an aspiring couch potato and currently haunts the Midwestern United States. She spends way too much time watching TV and being a pop culture junkie. When she’s not ranting about movies and TV on social media, you can probably find her with an iced latte in hand or fixing everyone’s problems. Sometimes she writes really silly stuff on Twitter and Tumblr.

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