New Girl 3×09 ‘Longest Night Ever’: Dating can be difficult

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I won’t say that last night’s New Girl was my least favorite episode this season; however, it certainly wasn’t my favorite. You would think an episode where Coach was heavily featured and Ferguson made a triumphant return would be a slam dunk, but the execution just came off all wrong. Jess and Schmidt were on their game, but sadly, everyone else was not.

This week, Coach and Winston both finally made it back into the dating game. The unfortunate part was that we weren’t rooting for either one of them to succeed. I legitimately have no idea what the writers were thinking in letting Coach ask Cece out on a date. Not only was that a complete violation of friend code by asking out Schmidt’s ex (who he is clearly and blatantly still in love with), but Coach also just went through a rough break up, and should know not to make things worse for someone going through a similar situation. And to top it all off, Coach and Cece’s date didn’t even have a great payoff after all the improbable setup. Coach takes Cece to a basketball game, and is so awkward and even sometimes rude because he is ‘nervous from being out of the game for so long.’ Cece is at first fed up, but when she finds out that his texting during their date was to his mom to pep himself up, she forgives him and decides that they should make out. I just was not feeling this plot at all. At least if you’re going to have Coach stab his friend in the back, make it worth our watching!

newgirl3x9winstonnickOver with Winston, he isn’t faring too much better. He leaves Ferguson (Ferguson! Yay!) in Nick’s care so he can finally go out and find a new girl, but has nothing but strike outs at the bar. When he returns home, Ferguson has gone missing out the window that Nick left open (you had one job Miller!). After Nick and Winston go on a hunt around the town for him, Winston gets a call that he has been found. They end up at an exceedingly creepy woman’s place, who has a hamster, and is into Winston. Nick is weirded out, but for some reason Winston is on board. I guess a long dry spell where a cat is your best friend will do that to you. After the woman makes them fried bologna sandwiches, Nick bails and leaves Winston to work his magic. I for one am happy that Winston is finally getting back in the saddle, but I sincerely hope that this woman has made her last appearance. Quirky individuals are New Girl‘s forte. I love quirky, awkward humor. But this woman was a bit too much.

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While all of this is going on, Jess is trying her best to keep poor Schmidt from going after Cece and ruining her date with Coach. She at first confines him to the apartment, but after he starts making out with the brown couch because of its supposed resemblance to Cece, she decides to take him out and help him land a new lady to take his mind off of his lost love. This doesn’t go quite as planned, however, and Schmidt ditches Jess the second she looks the other way. By the time she catches up to him, he is running down the street, well on his way to the Staples Center. He tells her that the only way she’s going to stop him is if she hits him with her car. She at first refuses, but when the cops pull up, she gets startled and slams the gas, bouncing him up on her hood. Schmidt comes out just fine, and by the time the cops let them go, Schmidt no longer has time to ruin Cece’s date.

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As I’ve mentioned previously, I’m still so frustrated with how the Schmidt/Cece storyline has progressed. As a viewer, we want them to get together, and we know that eventually they will, but they’ve really backed Schmidt into a corner with this one. Even though the me that is watching the tv show wants them to be a couple, the real me knows that if I was Cece’s friend in real life, I would refuse to let her ever date him again. Notice how Schmidt hasn’t mentioned Elizabeth a single time since she left? That’s why it was so implausible that Schmidt would’ve ever considered picking her over Cece.

What did you think of this week’s episode? I thought it was funny, but the storylines perturbed me. Were you as upset as I was? Let me know below!

 

Brock Kimbrel

is a social media specialist from Atlanta, Georgia, who likes to pretend that TV characters are his friends. If you’re looking to have an hour-long discussion about the Smoke Monster from Lost, or witness a live-blog of the lastest SNL, he’s your guy. Follow him on Tumblr or Twitter to send questions and comments!

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  • naomi

    reminder that this is a comedy show, not a drama.

    • brock kimbrel

      Ah, if only the writers could see this reminder!

  • Kendra Beltran

    I hope they continue to keep Nick and Jess separate. It’s for the best…

  • erika

    What happened to the Winston’s girlfriend (the hamster lady)?
    She just disappeared. ..