Melissa & Joey 3×05 ‘Oh Brother’: Cousins with tails

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Mel thinks she’s met the one, but Joe thinks it’s all relative. Meanwhile Lennox battles her ethics when it comes to her latest love; her new phone.

There’s a blast from the past this week as Mel reconnects with her childhood BFF/neighbor, Austin. Let it be known that Austin may’ve come from hoarders since he still had their 6th grade graduation program. Joe instantly assumes they’re more than friends and Mel thinks he’s wrong, but of course he gets inside her head. I mean like Joe said, when lunch gets switched to dinner, things could lead to bedtime.

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ABC Family

While Ryder refuses to wear pants during homeschool, his sister is raking in the money without doing anything. Her blog “Lennox Explains It All” gets an ad placement. This is good news until she shows Mel and Joe. Top Hat Condoms is paying Lennox for space and Mel’s proud of her little business woman. Joe on the other hand can’t stand the idea of her blog promoting sex in any way. Lennox could care less because she scored a new phone because of it.

Ryder finds Mel’s lost photo album and Joe discovers Austin looks a lot like Mel’s dad when he was younger. Your mind went to the exact same place as Joe’s – Mel and Austin could be brother and sister. Big problem, Mel’s out to dinner with Austin and as we’ve already discussed, that’s close to bedtime. Joe heads down to the restaurant and interrupts just before the might-be sibling’s lips lock. Austin and Mel postpone their after dinner delights and later Joe breaks down his relative theory. Mel’s in disbelief at first but then agrees to a DNA test; no semen required.

Lennox learns from Ryder that she’s got dirty money since Top Hat Condoms pays their employees pennies. She’s full of guilt but can’t seem to rid herself of her new love; that phone. Her big plan is to keep it but never answer it. She’s aware this isn’t rock solid. In case you’re curious, Ryder is wearing pants by the end of the episode.

In the most awkward manner, Mel gets too much of Austin’s hair for the test, but comes clean when he finally gets too suspicious. He agrees to the test and they wait. Joe opens the letter when it comes and phew, Mel didn’t almost sleep with her brother. Mel and Austin celebrate with a kiss and Joe looks sad about the results.

Kendra Beltran

Lives somewhere in between reality and believing she’ll marry Backstreet Boy Nick Carter. After two years of stress thanks to a job she grew to hate, she left and focused 90% of her attention on the one thing that had been her right hand man since she was 13; writing. Currently she writes often for Fandomania, Roni Reports, MTV Geek and her own music blog, Golden Mixtape.

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