Constantine 1×05 ‘Danse Vaudou’: Jackass of all trades, master of none

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Unfortunately (or fortunately, as with many things it’s all about perspective) the review of the latest episode in Constantine will be a short one. Too bad the episode wasn’t. Not only does Constantine need to find a way to distinguish itself from other shows, it needs to distinguish its own episodes from each other.

Source: NBC

Source: NBC

Constantine needs to give us one good episode. To be fair to them, they haven’t had any major blunders, but they haven’t hooked me in yet either. It’s kind of leaning towards the below average side of mediocrity. It’s got loads of potential, they’re not the worst show, but you wouldn’t even think of recommending it to your friend. Kind of like me back in school? In fact, the series is quite like its namesake, ‘jackass of all trades, master of none’.

Source: NBC

Source: NBC

Papa Midnite was back this week, and it’s such a relief to see Matt Ryan actually being able to play off another actor’s energy. Too long has he had to carry the show by himself. I’ll withhold judgement on Chas since we’ve seen so little of him, but Zed? Eek. That forced sexual tension is just too awkward. It kind of feels like the writers want you to ship this twosome, which kind of reduces the actual chemistry that they actually have. Don’t be disingenuous to the characters.

Source: NBC

Source: NBC

So much went on in this episode but it still felt like it took forever. We didn’t have one baddie of the week, we had two! And it definitely felt like it took twice as long to solve the case. I’m full of pity for these poor characters/actors are subject to the whims of such inadequate writers. Nothing that happens makes sense. It feels like they’re making it up as they go along, which is something that I can’t fathom because there’s actual source material to refer to. Why would John crash the voodoo ritual without any sort of defense at all? Why does the detective leave Zed out alone with a ghost so he can wrangle up the three women? Why did they even go to the crash site when John knew that they should’ve been looking at obituaries?

I did jump a few times this episode, so that’s worth something. Great casting on the hitchhiker ghost. He doesn’t look weird, but he does look like a weirdo. The image of the woman with the surgical mask is pretty chilling too. Sadly, the effect was dulled during the weird action sequences.

Lastly, what’s up with The Rising Darkness? Is that really what they’re calling it? It kind of sounds like a glitter-rock, death metal band.

 

 

Yeung Wing

is an aspiring TV critic, writer and editor. You can see her past work on her Tumblr!
She lives her life through escapism.

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