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Constantine 1×10 ‘Quid Pro Quo’: Only one of us is coming back

This week’s episode of Constantine finally revealed the source of Chas’ supposed immortality. Once again, they’ve abandoned the main plot. At this point in the series, you could easily rearrange all the episodes with no bearing on the viewer.

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Elementary 3×11, ‘The Illustrious Client’: You get further with a smile and a nightstick than just a smile alone

This week finds us with the first half of a rare two-part tale on Elementary, and I’m sorry to say that it’s a big stinking pile of disappointment.  This is obviously the crescendo Kitty’s narrative progression has been building to, and . . . . the story just kinda fumbles it away.  It’s a dang shame, too, as this episode does something I love and that this program only does two or three times a year: having a case where the mystery wholly involves the personal lives of our main characters.  This ain’t no “Shirley and Joan wax procedural in the A-plot while everyone exchanges meaningful glances about their personal lives in the B-plot,” this is “Hey, the bad guy is all up in your business, so you probably should take care of this before he kills you.”  However, a late-breaking plot twist (practically in the denouement) ups the ante in a way that can only be described as “ridiculously improbable,” and perhaps completely invalidates everything that occurred in the first 44 minutes of a 45 minute program. Read more »

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Portlandia 05×3 ‘Healthcare’: “This reminds me of the time when I got trapped in a water bed.”

Yay! Toni and Candace from Women and Women First make their season five debut this episode! Peter and Nancy are also there to say “and, and, and, and” over and over again. In the cold open! Love them! This season has been quite different so far in its overall set up. The sketches are all interconnected and telling a bigger story than ever before. I’m diggin’ it. So, what sketches to we have this episode? Read more »

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Chicago PD 5×12 ‘Disco Bob’ Guess who’s back?!

Someone’s in the kitchen with Halstead, someone’s in the kitchen half naaaked. Someone’s in the kitchen with Halstead and it’s Lindsay!

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Stalker 1×13 ‘The News’ : Help in the form of beer and pizza

This week’s episode features a whopping three stalkers. Or four, depending on how you count. It’s a lot, enough to make the people with only one crazy person ruining their lives feel lucky.

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Baby Daddy 4 ‘I See Crazy People’: Turkey holding a beach ball…

Danny’s back in town – kind of, Riley is worried about her relationship with Ben and Tucker is at war with Bonnie. Oh yeah, and Brad’s back because the perfect place to stay when your girlfriend breaks your heart and you don’t want to go home is with your mom’s ex-boyfriend’s house.

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Melissa & Joey 4×04 ‘The Day After’: “Hide all the razorblades”

So I finally made an effort to see where Ryder was in reality and he’s a part of Jurassic World. Okay, I guess that’s a good enough excuse to leave me hanging on Melissa & Joey but come back Ryder, come back! I barely had the attention span to care this week as Joe dealt with a double date of lies, and Lennox had dramarama thanks to Zander being back in the picture.

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Parks and Recreation 7×03 and 7×04 ‘William Henry Harrison’ and ‘Leslie and Ron’

Two more episodes back to back!? What is this craziness?? Alright so here’s what’s happening: Leslie and Ron are still duking it out over the Newport land, April still doesn’t know what to do with her life, Ben is walking the tightrope between Ron and Leslie, and there’s quite a lot of talk about William Henry Harrison and how he’s an Indiana hero. Albeit an embarrassing one. What else happened over these two episodes? Read more »

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Pretty Little Liars 5×16 ‘Over A Barrel’ What’s in the barrel?!

Come on, what’s in the BARREL!? The gang seems to think it is Mona’s decomposing body, but knowing how things work in the PLL universe I suspect it is something much much worse. Also I still have hope that Ms. Vanderwaal is still alive, a hope that is amplified when Spencer gets a text from Mona. Read more »

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Gotham 1×12 ‘What The Little Bird Told Him’: I appreciate the use of a Johnny Cash song

Okay, so you know how this show is just a little dark and gritty? It’s not a happy show by any stretch of the imagination, but you know, it’s not that kind of dark where your soul feels like it has been sucked out of you, stepped on a couple of times, and then shoved back in. Yeah, well, that changed.

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Source: ABC

The Bachelor 19×03 ‘Week 3′: Jimmy Kimmel is the best third wheel

I’m pretty sure they brought him on because Mr. Soules is a little boring on his own.  Let’s face it: he’s a sweet-but-burly man from Iowa who has kissed more women in the past week than he has in his entire life.  He’s good-looking, but a little reserved and very shy.  No wonder they chose so many crazies for this season, too.  These chicks are aggressive.

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Castle 7×12 ‘Private Eye Caramba!’: Mr. Castle and the case of the missing clutch

Thrills, intrigue, murder! See all this and more in this week’s episode of Castle!

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The Originals 2×10 ‘Gonna Set Your Flag on Fire’: Board games and booze

It’s been too long since I’ve seen The Originals so for about half the show I was like, “Wait, what?” Then it slowly came back to me and all I have to say is HOLY FREYA. Other than that whopping bombshell, we got a hostage situation, an unlikely pair and a proposal.

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Girls 4×02 ‘Triggering’: The decision to change

Girls episodes have a tendency to improve as their focus narrows.  Take, for example, Season 1’s “The Return” or Season 2’s “One Man’s Trash”, or even Season 3’s “Flo”.  They’re all some of the best episodes of the series because they reduce the focus to Hannah’s search for her place in the world.  More specifically, they emphasize that search by taking her out of her comfort zone, pushing her into places that are unfamiliar in order to edge up against her boundaries.  Hannah may be looking for some sort of change in her life, but when she actively faces change, she becomes absolutely terrified. Read more »

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House of Lies 04×03 ‘Entropy is Contagious’: Don’t drink and text.

This week on House of Lies, Marty is still having an enormous amounts of personal and professional problems. Doug and Sarah are still trying to conceive, and she’s getting quite creepy about it. Clyde is having a personality crisis because he’s a jerk. Jeannie and Marty are still at odds over how to handle their newest clients and end up clashing big time over a skin care line. Funny stuff ensues. Read more »

Source: ABC

Revenge 4×13 ‘Abduction’: Nolan’s folly.

Well here we are folks, at the Revenge season four finale! I can’t believe it’s already here. The fate of season five is still in the air, and with the declining viewership I won’t be surprised if season five ends up being the last. A lot of major characters died off this season or left the show permanently and after this episode, I’m not really sure where the show can go from here. It’s so far from its original premise that it’s almost unrecognizable. I mean, I don’t know, I think Revenge could’ve been a really cool miniseries or something but four seasons? Eh, I suppose it could be worse but it’s just not what it used to be. Anyway, let’s move on and cover this season’s finale! Read more »

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Resurrection 2×12 ‘Steal Away’: Baby Antichrist

What do you call a baby that supposedly put all of the Returned into a trance? Apparently it’s Satan. What do you call a man who poisons everyone to escape government custody? Oddly enough, this show would call him a Preacher. I’m just saying, something is a little off with the town of Arcadia’s ideas of good and evil. Anyways, this episode was amazing and, like I have said for the past few weeks, the show might be renewed if the episodes remain as good as this one.  Read more »

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Bingeworthy: The Sopranos 4×07 – 4×08: Steady decline

The Sopranos 4×07: “Watching Too Much Television”

At this point in the series, The Sopranos has been amplifying the existential dread that the characters themselves are experiencing.  During the first few seasons, they were mostly able to shrug off those feelings, even through they lingered in the backs of their minds on a near-constant basis.  However, as money becomes more and more of a problem, as the FBI becomes more and more of a threat, the characters become increasingly erratic, doing things that are irrational, to the point where they’re hurting others for reasons that are only truly evident in their subconscious. Read more »

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Hawaii Five-0 5×12 ‘Poina ole’: “That’s why I love you, babe.”

A neurosurgeon is assassinated moments before performing surgery on a Five-0 adversary while the team uncovers the truth behind a disappearance forty years ago. Meanwhile Steve’s car is stolen sending him on a chase to find one of his most treasured possessions. Sounds like a lot, but not really much happened this week. One thing is for certain there is a lot of family bonding this episode, which Hawaii Five-0 is well known for. Five-0 is on the case in “Poina ‘Ole.”

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Glee 6×03 ‘Jagged Little Tapestry’: Honesty is the best policy.

This week Glee returns to its favourite trope of all – the mash-up.  The theme of this week for the glee club was to understand how to mash up two things that don’t usually go together. However, the universal episode for the whole episode was being honest with both yourself and others! Read more »