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Constantine 1×11 “A Whole World Out There”: Liberation is the purpose

Once again, Constantine delivers yet another wholly unoriginal episode. The difference is, this time it was actually entertaining. The flaws that have been seen throughout the season were still present, but there was a definite improvement in pacing and I’ll admit that Constantine‘s scares are always consistent.

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How to Get Away with Murder 1×10 ‘Hello Raskolnikov’: In case you’re just joining us

Welcome bank to Shondaland! First and foremost congratulations to Viola Davis on her SAG win! Should’ve won the Golden Globe too… But we aren’t holding any grudges right? Well it didn’t take long, but How to Get Away with Murder jumped right back into action as we were teased with a seemingly hour long recap of everything we already knew leaving us yearning for more. It’s a real case of they don’t know that we know they know we know. Let’s get to it, onto “Hello Raskolnikov!”

WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS

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Portlandia 05×4 ‘SeaWorld’: “Here we are back…mmmm…in the living room.”

Alright weirdos! Here’s your recap of this week’s Portlandia episode. We get to see the mayor finally! In the cold open we see a “shocking” art supply shop that sells all the art school clichés: beheaded baby dolls, broken TV’s you can stack and play static on, and you get a discount if you’re hunched over and wearing an army jacket. Guest starring Olivia Wilde, Natasha Lyonne, Kyle McLaughlin and Jeff Goldblum.  Here are the sketches: Read more »

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Elementary 3×12, ‘The One that Got Away’: At long last, the status quo

This week wraps up the back half of a two-hander, where our intrepid detectives continue the search for the criminal mastermind/kidnapper/rapist/torturer/sexual deviant/billionaire/playboy/philanthropist/all-around evil rich white guy.  That guy’s LinkedIn profile must be amazing.  Anyway, last week was really crap and kinda pointless, as we learned the case about the Albanian sex dungeon (and jeez, what’s with Albanians and their sex dungeons?  That was the plot of Taken!  If any of my readers are Albanian, shoot me a message and tell me the story of your culture’s rich history in involuntary conjugal dungeonry) was really just a shell game to keep Sherlock & Co. off the trail of the real baddie, making most of the episode kinda moot, but hey, I think we should take no small amount of solace in the fact that our team saved, like, twenty women from the brutality of routine sexual assault.  I’d consider that one hell of a silver lining.  However, now is the time on Elementary where the stuff gets real — so pop some popcorn, fire up your branding irons, make a dozen Yorkshire puddings (then promptly throw them away), and gather ’round your television’s warm glowing warming glow: it’s payback time. Read more »

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The Big Bang Theory 8×13 ‘The Anxiety Optimization’: Emily or Cinnamon?

Usually it’s Sheldon who garners the most laughs because the writers have recognized that Jim Parsons was the most popular of the bunch. This week however all the laughs on The Big Bang Theory were courtesy of Howard’s amazing game sweeping the nation…well, this episode.

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Stalker 1×14 ‘My Hero’ : Baywatch gone wrong

It’s Baywatch meets Stalker this week. Oh, and Stalker meets The Nanny. And The Nanny meets the Beethoven flicks from the early 90’s. See, this is what happens when they do a lifeguard episode and throw in one of the biggest child stars from twenty years ago.

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Baby Daddy 4×05 ‘Mugging for the Camera’: Indiana baby…

Danny’s back for good, Tucker may be fired and Bonnie is broke and exploiting her granddaughter. That’s basically Baby Daddy in a nutshell this week. Oh wait, Ben and Riley fought…again…

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Melissa & Joey 4×05 ‘Let’s Get It Started’: Pressure baby…

Prayer works people, Ryder was back this week but it was short lived as they finally gave him some sort of way to exit for good. Meanwhile Lennox and Zander dealt with going from lovers to friends, and Mel and Joe have baby talk.

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Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation 7×05 ‘Gryzzlbox’, 7×06 ‘Rally to Save JJ’s’: “Hitch 2: Son of a Hitch.”

What up people of the internet?! Are you ready for some more awesome Parks and Rec? Me too! What a coincidence! So when we last left Pawnee, Leslie and Ron had finally made up, we learned that Morningstar was an apartment complex Ron helped develop which plowed over Ann’s old house, Tom was sad about a girl, April was still really confused about where her life was going, and Andy was still hilarious. So, what’s happening this week? Read more »

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Pretty Little Liars 5×17 ‘The Bin of Sin’ Seriously, what’s in the barrel?!

It’s hard to remember that these girls are still in High School. I mean how many teenagers have been through as many near death experiences as the Liars have? This week’s life and death situation is Aria and Spencer almost being flash frozen in an abandoned ice cream factory. It only makes slightly more sense in context.  Read more »

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Glee 6×04 ‘The Hurt Locker Part One’: All because of a fork.

This week on Glee Sue flips her lid after Will left his unused fork on the table after having dinner – shock horror. Sue goes down one of her random soliloquy in which she ends up revealing a secret lair, also known as the ‘hurt locker’. It’s practically a store garage full of voodoo dolls and other signifiers for her hatred for the glee club alumni. The best thing of all, hidden behind a secret wall, is Sue’s Klaine shrine – yes she’s a Klaine shipper.  Read more »

Source: ABC

The Bachelor 19×04 ‘Week 4′: Soules gets serious

You’re right, Chris.  It is indeed early on to send someone home before the rose ceremony, but I’m glad that you’re there for the right reasons.  Hopefully he’ll turn out to be more Sean Lowe than Juan Pablo.

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Marvel’s Agent Carter 1×04 ‘The Blitzkrieg Button’: Fast times at The Griffith

I loved this episode of course, but I’m more concerned about sewing a pickle pocket into my purse.

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Gotham 1×13 ‘Welcome Back, Jim Gordon’: Party like Oswald Cobblepot

That dark turn Gotham took last week? Well, it’s even darker and it’s fantastic.

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The Originals 2×11 ‘Brotherhood of the Damned’: Big bad wolf…

This week my mind was elsewhere as I spent the afternoon with my boyfriend and then had to sit in his room while he and his roommate played video games, and I played catch up – posting and and answering emails while this week’s episode of The Originals played. Was it my scattered brain or was this week’s just not that interesting in the grand scheme of things?

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Source: FOX

Bob’s Burgers 5×10 ‘Late Afternoon in the Garden of Bob and Louise’: Bob’s not allowed to be happy

Bob will do anything to get a plot of dirt in the community garden run by Logan’s mother Cynthia, but it comes at too high a cost for Linda and Louise. In the end, he must give up something he loves because…reasons. Read more »

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Revenge 4×14 ‘Kindred’: “Is there a way around murder?”

Haha, whoops! I guess last week wasn’t the season four finale of Revenge. My bad! I really didn’t see this episode listed anywhere on IMDB, last time I’m trusting them! Anyway, what’s new? Nolan and Louise decide to throw quite the shindig to celebrate their blessed union. Louise deals with her super crazy family yet again, are they getting their own reality spin-off soon? Emily and David are trying to make their super awkward relationship work despite the fact that Margaux is now really gunning for them, despite Victoria’s vague warnings. Why don’t they just run off to Tahiti or something? I mean come on… Read more »

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House of Lies 04×04 ‘We Can Always Just Overwhelm the Vagus Nerve with Another Sensation’

Heyo guys! Ready for another hilarious installment of House of Lies? Cause I sure am! I know what you’re thinking, with an episode title that long, what can these fools be up to this episode? Well Marty is working on getting Ellis Hightower to play ball, which is slowly becoming a freakishly huge nightmare. Clyde is being hounded by Doug to let him in on the ground floor of his new app business plan. Jeannie is ready to be head-hunted but…the market isn’t ready for her just yet. Also, there’s lots of drama! Read more »

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Resurrection 2×13 ‘Loved In Return’: The end?

Season Two ended with a bang. And by bang, I mean the world almost ended. And by that, I mean that another Mass Return occurred. Fun stuff! In all seriousness though, this was one of the most intense episodes of the show which made it really exciting.  Read more »

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Girls 4×03 ‘Female Author’: “Everything turns out the way it’s supposed to”

“Everything turns out the way it’s supposed to.”  My thoughts on that quote are certainly bifurcated.  On one hand, we have to make the best out of what circumstances we find ourselves within.  We don’t have ultimate free will, no matter how much we may want to, and it’s easy to beat ourselves up because we believe that our unpleasant circumstances are of our own doing.  But in order to move forward in our lives, we have to accept who we are and where we’re at, otherwise we won’t have any idea how to dig ourselves out.  On the other hand, that quote is an easy thing to say in order to justify giving up.  If everything is going to turn out the way it is supposed to, then why try at all?  Why not just take on a passive role in your life and just let life happen to you?  We have to be careful with the things that we tell ourselves.  It’s easy to delude yourself and believe that you have your best interests in mind. Read more »